82. I statements

mental fitness Oct 30, 2020

By: Michael Beiter

"My kids are fucking crazy and always need something." 

You don't need to be the only one helping them. Which is often the case when I hear this quote from disgruntled moms and dads. 

What I see happening is that parents are trying to pour from an empty cup of will power. 

Each of us has only so many things we can do in a day. When we try to do more we exhaust our precious will power and end up frazzled. For many, when this state comes around we eat more than we want to or skip out on taking care of ourselves. 

This doesn't have to be the case. 

When you feel overloaded with work or kids use an "I statement" to recruit some help and stick up for yourself. This will free up some precious will power so you can stick to healthy eating and exercise. Or keep sane with needy kids and work. 

It goes like this: 

I feel _________

When _________

Because __________

What I need is ___________

Here is an example from a mom with crazy kids that demand a lot.
She is directing the statement to her partner.

I feel overwhelmed

When I have to take care of the kids all by myself because you are building something

Because I end up eating too much and not taking care of myself 

What I need is for you to take breaks from your hobbies and help me out with the kids on the weekends. 


Stand up for yourself and get back some precious willpower that you can use to take care of yourself. Know that whoever you are using an "I statement" with won't resent you because of it. Quite the opposite happens usually. They thank you for speaking your mind and giving direction in a non abusive way and without letting the problem build up. 

Use it. 


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