162. Stand up for yourself and procrastination as a pro rather than a con

Uncategorized Aug 10, 2021

By: Michael Beiter

Stand up for yourself. Go ahead. You will be applauded, not punished.
"I felt guilty going to work out. Everyone else is at work and I don't deserve to be taking this time for myself" a client said.
I asked her what happened when she told her supervisors she was taking time to go to the gym.
 
"They said good job and told me I should do it more."
 
Bingo.
 
Letting yourself get door matted by co workers, clients, or whoever is a sign of low self confidence and self esteem.
 
I see far too many people training others to take advantage of them. They do this by saying yes too much.
 
A firm no and reasoning to support why you take care of yourself are all you need to learn that as soon as you put your foot down and take care of yourself first people will back off.
 
Most of the time they will comment they wish they could do the same.


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1.) Thought: "I have procrastinated all of my life. It is a bad habit I should stop." 

2.) Distortion:

Disqualifying the positive - You reject positive experiences by insisting they 'don't count' for some reason or the other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your day to day experience. 

Should statements: You try to motivated yourself with shoulds and shouldn'ts. As if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. The emotional consequence is guilt. When directed toward others you feel anger, resentment, and frustration. 

3.) Rational Response: 

Procrastination has been studied extensively and researchers have found it to be a sign of intellect. Natural selection has wired our brains to conserve energy as much as possible. When looking at a task or deadline and waiting til' the last minute to start or get it done you are essentially recognizing the relative unimportance of the task and low need for attention before deadline. This saves you energy and attention for other matters that are more important in the interim. Procrastination is not bad, it is smart. And if I find myself doing it often maybe I should rethink the tasks I fill my time with. They must not be that important. 
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